Change

Earlier this month I was invited to lead worship at a small, old-timey Presbyterian church my friend Ashley attends. For the past 6 months or so, my church has been doing an intense and incredible study of the book of John. This is now my favorite book of the Bible. One of the many stories in John that really struck my heart was the story of the blind man and Lazarus. I had no intention at all on doing anything more than reading (John 11) to the church because it had to do with change as their church is going through some transitional stages they hope benefit their Body. Anyway, once the Spirit gets hold of you, you are completely removed from your own wants and desire. Free-will or not, when the Spirit wraps around you, it leaves you, well, me, like a ship which has been caught in a storm. My knees get weak, I shake, I cry and completely break down losing all ego and self. I love that feeling. It is a sense of completely happiness and freedom in His embrace. It is a powerful, intimidating, but warm embrace. Does that make any sense? You can't really describe God so I doubt I can even describe the Spirit.

So, there I was, pouring my heart out to the church talking about how we sometimes fall back into the people we used to be. I still don't understand why we do. Is it a comfort zone? Are we lazy? Is being devoted to Christ that difficult that we have to stray? I'm sorry, rather, is it that difficult that sometimes I have to stray? I've said it before many times, I am not a minister; I was not designed that way. Many times I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting, but I am still a God child and He loves me unconditionally. He does all of us.

I think I closed with something along the lines of our parents. We say we love them and we do; regardless of what they have done in our past. (Imagine what you did to them in your past.) But, if you tell me you love your parents, how do I know? I never see you at their house to express it or see you on the phone with them other than every now and then. How do I really know? I know you tell me you love Christ too... but again, how do I know? In 1964, R&B singer Sam Cooke wrote a song, "A Change is Gonna Come." If we have all been forgiven by God's Grace and some of us have accepted Him as a Savior to change our lives for the better but we continue living in our old rags, when is change gonna come?